The following is my response to statements made by Johnny Gatorz on the 15th annual NHB Radio network telethon on his show, which he has rebranded as “The Real NHB Radio show”. I will try to keep this brief, but there’s a lot to say.
I understand why some staff of the NHb radio network would feel that I slapped the station and its fans and staff in the face by going off on my own server to resurrect my show. I also apologize to Johnny Gatorz that my show goes up against his. I can understand why he’d be upset. I really didn’t think it was going to be a big deal and that was wrong of me. However, that being said, there are too many emotions tied into that station for me. There’s a lot of positives, but there’s a lot of negatives as well. I left NHb radio in 2012 because I was not happy with its direction. I admit that at some point, I became an ineffective leader because I allowed myself to let a series of events where I lost friends due to decisions I had made for the station affect my ability to manage properly. As a result, the station spun out of control and drifted further and further away from my vision of what it should be and how it should be run. My options shrunk down to leave or force my will down the staff’s throat, which would have caused more drama, more hardship and possibly more friendships lost. Also, the listeners would suffer as well. I could have shut down the station, but I felt that would just make me look like a spoiled brat who took his toys and went home. the listeners contribute money to this station every year, which means that they must enjoy what goes on over there. How, in good conscience, could I take that away from them? So, I turned the reigns over to Rico and stepped away.
As a fan of radio since my childhood, and a student of radio in my college days, I had developed a vision for what a talk/comedy network should be. It should be a series of interactive shows, united under a banner, which was NO Holds Barred Radio, but still able to display each show’s own individuality. the shows would promote themselves regularly through station promos, update our best of automation regularly with bits, interact with other shows to create stationwide content and we’d all consistently use the same resources to keep things easy to follow for the listeners. IN the last few years, all of that has vanished. all attempts to try to bring NHB back to that core vision that was most successful from 2002 through 2007 or so were met with resistance as things like video streaming became important to some, and shows weren’t able or willing to update automation or even produce show promos. My anger over this resulted in being called a tyrant, a whiner, and all sorts of other things. Honestly, I felt like people who came on my station just took advantage of a built in infrastructure and showed very little respect or appreciation to the management. I grew to resent it all. On top of that, listener interaction dropped to almost nonexistent and the cohost situation became one where after a time, it just began to feel like all I was was the abuse toy for entertainment value.
The show stopped being fun and my output and ability to entertain became 0. I burned out and fueled by anger, hurt and resentment, I left. And I decided I wasn’t coming back.
This being said, I am not trying to compete with the network. despite what gatorz tries to claim, I am just here to do my show in the way I feel NHb should be run. I let them do what they want, even though I completely disagree with how the network functions. My point to prove that is in the lesser amounts of funds NHb has every year to work with. But, it’s their station now. I do want it to continue, because obviously people get value from it or they wouldn’t donate at all. but it’s not the station I want to work on and that is my right.
NHB means a lot to people. Just listen to the telethon testimonials to see that. We’ve gotten lots of people through hard times. I know for a fact we may have prevented a few suicides over the years. I don’t know if anybody else realizes how great this station could be, but listening to old telethon testimonials, I am humbled and proud that this little thing I started had any kind of impact at all. I know it certainly has helped me through a lot of tough times and it is a way for me to take the self imposed filters off and just blow off steam for 3 hours. It saddens me to feel that others don’t seem to see NHb the way I do and just see it as some place to do a show of varying levels of quality. I do miss the old days, but I know they aren’t coming back and it’s a bitter pill to swallow and that’s why i can’t go back, because right or wrong, I carry a lot of resentment and going back would only bring that resentment out of me and I wish to spare myself and the staff of that nonsense, so it’s better for me to start fresh on a new server, just Liam and I who share the vision of what the show should be and can carry it forward without resistance from others.
I wish the network nothing but success and continue to support its continuation. I never rule out anything in the future, but for right now, it is best for the network to do its thing and for me to do mine in separate houses, so to speak. Let the content speak for itself, but I am not out to compete with the network and I will not be drawn into silly drama over it. that’s why I left. Let them do their thing and we’ll do ours. As Dunejumper said, there’s room for everybody here.
This is the last word on the subject. I appreciate responses, but again, I will not be drawn into a debate. I let the NHb radio network do its thing. Let me do mine. I think I deserve that much.